August 22, 2022, changed my life. My now-fiancé and I had only been dating for two and a half months when he was diagnosed with end-stage renal failure. To say our lives were turned upside down is an understatement. We were still learning about each other when we suddenly found ourselves facing kidney failure — he as the patient, and I as the caregiver.
Coming from a background of service as a Veteran, it was a no-brainer that I would tackle this journey head-on. And oh, what a journey it has been — a rollercoaster of emotions, triumphs, and setbacks all at once.
In the early stages of a relationship, every day usually brings new discoveries, laughter, and sometimes awkward moments. For us, those moments were suddenly magnified by a medical crisis. We were no longer just exploring favorite foods or binge-worthy shows; we were navigating lab results, dialysis schedules, and endless doctor appointments.
My military background instilled in me a deep sense of duty, discipline, and service. But nothing could have prepared me for the emotional intensity of watching someone I love fight for his life. Overnight, I became his advocate, nurse, nutritionist, and emotional anchor. There were days when the weight of responsibility felt overwhelming, and nights when fear crept in uninvited.
Being a caregiver means embracing a whirlwind of emotions: grieving for the life we once imagined, hoping for better days, feeling frustrated by setbacks, and holding profound gratitude for even the smallest victories. This journey has revealed depths of empathy and love I never knew I possessed. We have grown together in ways I never could have imagined, finding joy in quiet moments and celebrating every step forward.
Our story is not one of perfection, but of perseverance and partnership. Every challenge has been a lesson. Every triumph has been a reason to hold each other closer.
If you are reading this as a fellow caregiver, know that you are not alone. Your strength and compassion matter, even on the hardest days. Remember to care for yourself as fiercely as you care for your loved one. As difficult as it may be, this is the number one rule.
The journey will always be unpredictable, but your courage lights the way.
Thank you for joining me as I continue to share our story — one day, one triumph, and one setback at a time. I currently reside in California and have included both local and national caregiver resources.
National and Online Caregiver Resources
- Family Caregiver Alliance
- In-depth information, personalized support, CareNav dashboard, and resources in multiple languages.
- Family Caregiver Alliancecaregiver
- Caregiver Action Network
- Free education, peer support, and resources for family caregivers, including a Caregiver Help Desk and condition-specific guides.
- Caregiver Action Networkcaregiveraction
- National Institute on Aging – Caregiving Toolkit
- Evidence-based articles, infographics, publications, and videos for caregivers.
- NIA Caregiving Toolkitnih
- AARP Caregiving Support Groups
- Guidance on finding the right support group, both online and in-person, with tips for connecting with others who understand your journey.
- AARP Caregiving Support Groupsaarp
- Family Caregivers Online
- Articles, webinars, support groups, and a resource directory for caregivers nationwide.
- Family Caregivers Onlinefamilycaregiversonline
- VA Caregiver Support Program
- Specialized support for caregivers of veterans, including counseling, education, and financial planning.
- VA Caregiver Support Programva
- Comprehensive List of Support Groups
- A roundup of 22 online and in-person caregiver support groups, including those for specific conditions.
- 22 Remarkable Caregiver Support Groupsseniors
